Sticker Disclaimers on Artist’s Albums
In the same week that Chris Brown unveiled his horribly misguided new neck tattoo, a rather opportunist and cheeky HMV customer decided to further highlight the R&B star’s well-publicized offense by placing a ‘Do Not Buy This Album! This Man Beats Women’ sticker on his current album, Fortune. Unfortunately, for the anonymous shopper, the stunt appears to have had the opposite desired effect, with sales of the record reportedly increasing since the image was published on Twitter. However, it still begs the question, which other pop stars deserve to have their past indiscretions emblazoned across their album covers?
Paris Hilton – Do Not Buy This Album! This Woman Is Earth Shatteringly Stupid
Of course, this warning could apply to a number of artists (Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan), but following Paris Hilton’s recent comments about the ‘disgusting’ gay community, she takes precedent over every other fame-hungry tone-deaf reality show celeb. The ‘jack of all trades but master of none’ socialite, who has already been the victim of a record store prank courtesy of Banksy, has in all seriousness asked whether Walmart sells walls, compared herself to Princess Diana and Marilyn Monroe, and failed to grasp the fact that London is in England.
Madonna – Do Not Buy This Album! This Woman Think She’s 30 Years Younger Than She Is
Is there anything more embarrassing than someone, who should know better, trying to get down with the kids? With Ray Of Light, Music and even American Life, Madonna appeared to be content to grow older gracefully. But since the mid-00s, she seems to be going through something of a mid-life crisis, whether it’s posing in costumes typical of her Erotica phase on the hideous cover of 2008’s Hard Candy, exposing her breasts on her recent MDNA tour or releasing a series of unremarkable R&B and trashy Europop records which have sunk her career to an all-time low.
David Guetta – Do Not Buy This Album! This Man Is Responsible For Ruining Pop Music
Seemingly on a one-man mission to homogenize the world of pop music, David Guetta has not only clogged up the charts with his own brand of identikit EDM but he’s also encouraged every R&B star to succumb to the same lowest common denominator club sound too. Look at any Top 10 singles chart across the world and it’s likely that at least half of its tracks would bear the hallmarks of this Frenchman. Usher, Nicki Minaj, Kelly Rowland, Flo Rida et al. may be huge fans but because of Guetta, mainstream pop music has never sounded so utterly predictable.
Guns N’ Roses – Do Not Buy This Album! This Band’s Frontman Has No Respect For His Fans
Winding up the general public is one thing, but to do it your own fans is taking the biscuit. Guns N Roses’ frontman Axl Rose may believe he’s the most important rock star on the planet but nobody else has subscribed to this notion since about 1991. This makes his regular routine, of appearing on stage at least two hours after the band’s scheduled time, all the more incredulous. This has-been claims that his inability to read a clock is accidental, although the crew at a recent Glasgow show admitted they had been warned that the show would run late a whooping 24 hours before the show even started. Even when he eventually turns up, he’s known for engaging in arguments with the audience, throwing almighty strops and cutting his set short. All this from the man who took nearly 20 years to produce the monumental flop that was Chinese Democracy.
Lil Wayne – Do Not Buy This Album! This Man’s Ego Far Outweighs His Talent
The stars of the hip-hop world are synonymous with over-estimating their own self-importance but at least the likes of Kanye West and Jay-Z have the talent to back up their egos. Lil Wayne might have declared himself as the best rapper in the world and even named his 2011 tour, I Am Music. Yet without the invention of AutoTune, it’s unlikely that he’d be approaching anywhere near the millions of sales he’s unfathomably racked up over the last decade.
Dappy – Do Not Buy This Album! This Man Defends Murderers
He may be an unknown outside the UK, but the behavior of N-Dubz’s wooly, chullos-wearing, imbecile Dappy has been so abhorrent that he’s certainly worthy of lining up alongside other world-renowned douchebags. His rap sheet is endless, from spitting in a girl’s face on a night out, to being thrown out of a theme park for smoking cannabis, to sending a death threat to a Radio 1 listener who described him as ‘a little boy with a silly hat’ live on air. However, perhaps his most heinous activity occurred during the video for his recent single, “I’m Coming (Tarzan Part II),” where he called for the release of Leo Chindamo, the man who killed headteacher Philip Lawrence in 1995. Later, Dappy argued, rather pathetically following the understandable furor, that he didn’t know why Lawrence was in prison.